The Gift of Faith

 My adult faith was gifted to me by one of my grade 9 students. I had left my childhood faith behind when I left home at 17. It was not until I was 28 that I could say once again, “I believe.”

Late in August 1978, I was married with two young children and unemployed when I got an offer to teach in a Catholic High School. At that time in the province of Quebec, students had two options: Catholic religious education or Moral studies courses. The latter option was for those who did not want a faith-based course. I was told I would be teaching 6 Moral Studies classes in grades 9 though 11.

Two days before the start of the school year, I arrived at the high school and was handed my teaching schedule: 6 blocks of Catholic religious education classes. When I met the head of the religious education department, I told him about my dilemma: I needed the job, but I did not believe in what I was asked to teach. He suggested that I talk with Maurice, a priest who worked at the high school. To my surprise, Maurice did not say I could not accept the teaching position. He simply said, “You cannot teach Catholic religious education classes unless you are a witness to Christ and unless you are on a journey of faith with your students.” I knew in my heart that what he said was true. I also knew that, to be honest with myself, with the school and with my students, I somehow needed to find a way to take a first step on that “journey of faith”.

That very same day, I read a poster advertising a “Life in the Spirit Seminar”, a crash course on the Christian faith sponsored by the local Charismatic prayer group. It was offered at the church near the school and was starting that week. I registered to take it. When I arrived at the first meeting, I discovered that the coordinator and main teacher of the seminar was Maurice. The course was given over seven weeks at a rate of one night a week. On the seventh evening, members of the prayer group were to pray with each of the participants in the seminar asking that they be “Baptized in the Holy Spirit”.

After the sixth meeting, I went to see Maurice again and told him I still could not believe and therefore could not accept prayers for “Baptism in the Holy Spirit.” He replied, “That’s fine. If you want, when we pray with you, we will only pray for the gift of faith.” That is what they did on the last night of the seminar. I don’t know what I expected from their prayers, but there was no blinding light and certainly no being flung from my horse. When I left the church that evening, I felt as if nothing whatsoever had changed.

A few days later, I was teaching one of my grade 9 classes and a student raised his hand and asked me, “Do you believe in what you are teaching?” The words that then came out of my mouth surprised me, “Yes I do.” As soon as I had given that answer, I realized that what I had said was true. Whatever had prevented me from believing before had been removed. Still no fireworks, but only a gentle conviction that I did believe in Jesus. From then on, things did start to change within me. For example, the Bible had been a closed book to me, something that was opaque and meaningless. In the year that followed the seminar, I read most of it. It had become deeply alive and spoke to me in a very personal way.

My adult journey of faith started on the day a grade 9 student asked me a question. I have since joined countless others on that journey in the 43 years since it began: school students and colleagues, teens getting ready for confirmation in parishes, adult faith sharing groups, men and young adults on Cursillo and CORE weekends, participants in faith formation workshops or RCIA programs, teachers and students in theology courses… All of these people have continued gifting me with a deeper and deeper faith.