Who are you Lord?

The older I get, the less I know who God is. No, this is not a subterfuge to get your attention and entice you to read this post. It is the truth.

With any other type of knowledge, I can proceed step by step and add to it and strengthen it. Not so with God. I look back and see how often in the past I have said to God, “If you are like that, I don’t know who you are. I have never really known you!” The question I have asked him most often over the years has been, “Who are you, Lord? Let me know who you are.” His response seems to be always the same: he removes from under my feet the “knowledge” I thought I had and assumed was solid ground on which to stand. Paradoxically, this is not at all disheartening. It increases my desire to “see” God and open’s me up to a different way of “knowing.”

This is also true of things that are of God. I have been thinking about forgiveness this week and wondering what it means to say that God forgives our sins and what is he asking us to do when he says we should forgive others as well. My prayer has centered on that. I said to God that I am not at all sure I know what that means.

In my late twenties, a priest friend of mine taught me a prayer to help me forgive. It was in French and here is the best translation I can provide:

Lord Jesus,
in you Name and by the power of the Holy Spirit,
I forgive (name of the person, or hurtful events, or even myself)
all the wrongs that (he, she, it, I) have done to me
forever and unconditionally.

Lord Jesus,
in you Name and by the power of the Holy Spirit,
I cancel the debt they owe me
and ask you to bless them 

and fill them with your love.

This prayer came back to my memory as I was praying yesterday, and the last few words seemed to contain an answer to my query about forgiveness. What sin does is create a chasm between myself and others, or between me and God. It can even cut me off from my true self. This chasm can be so deep and wide as to severely damage or even destroy a relationship. When God forgives, he does what the last words in my little prayer suggest: he pours his love into the chasm. In other words, since God is Love, he pours himself into the chasm produced by sin to create a bridge and to heal the relationship. When God asks me to forgive, he asks me to let the Spirit unite me with his love so that I also may be poured into the chasm with him. Thus, healing can take place.

Who is God? For now, and until the next time he pulls the rug under my feet, I will say that he is the one who pours himself into the chasm and invites me to follow him there.