The Blooming of God's Love

God is always present in my life, as he is in all his creatures. Nothing could exist without that constant presence. There are moments in my life though when I have felt/seen/believed that God’s “path” intersected my “path” in a deeper way. One such moment was while I was having a heart attack 32 years ago and during the few days after that.

During the brief intervals when I regained consciousness while I was in the intensive care unit at the hospital, I knew it was possible I would not survive. Nevertheless, I was not afraid. I understood without a shadow of a doubt that I was not alone; Jesus was there with me and his presence filled me with deep peace and an unshakable trust that, whatever happened, my fate was in his loving hands. That awareness and that trust were his gifts to me.

Until recently, I thought that the grace to abandon myself in the hands of God at the time was a passing one, given then because it was necessary for my survival, but not a lasting one. In fact, anxiety at the thought of having another heart attack seized me when I left the hospital and would be a daily companion for months until I could regain my psychological balance. However, in the last few months, I have come to realize that I was wrong in thinking this. What I felt then has surfaced again: the same deep trust in God. I can recognize it as one recognizes a friend’s face when you encounter him again even after decades of absence. More than 30 years ago, God planted in me the seed of a trust in him that has since slowly grown within me until now. Who knew that what people call the Winter of life is in reality the Spring where one finally sees the blooming of God’s loving action?